He Said To Me!

Just to share with you guys...its from an email from a dear bestest buddy..... uncle botak :-)

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He said to me:

       I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it

I said to him:

You wear pants don't you? 

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He said to me:

Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

I said to him:

That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He said to me:

What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

I said to him:

Turn sideways and look in the mirror! 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He said to me:

Why don't women blink during foreplay?

I said to him:

They don't have time. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He said to me:

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

I said to him:

I don't know; it has never happened. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He said to me:

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good-looking?

I said to him:

They already have boyfriends. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He said to me:

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

I said to him:

A widow. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He said to me:

Why are married women heavier than single women?

I said to him: 

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. 

Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge....;-)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

                                       THE END AHAKS!

"The One I Gave My Heart To"

How Could The One I Gave My Heart To, Break My Heart So Bad?

How Could The One Who Made Me Happy, Make Me Feel So Sad?

Wont Somebody Tell Me? So I Can Understand.

If You Love Me, How Could You Hurt Me Like That?

How Could The One I Gave My World To, Throw My World Away?

How Could The One Who Said I Love You, Say The Things You Say?

How Could The One I Was So True Too, Just Tell Me Lies?

How Could The One I Gave My Heart To, Break This Heart Of Mine?

Tell Me........

How Could You Be So Cold To Me? When I Gave You Everything.

All My Love, All I Had Inside.

How Could you Just Walk Out The Door?

How Could You Not Love Me Anymore?

I Thought We Had Forever.

I Cant Understand.

How Could The One I Shared My Dreams With, Take My Dreams From me?

How Could The Love That Brought Such Pleasure, Bring Such Misery?

Wont Somebody Tell Me? Somebody Tell Me Please.

If You Love Me, How Could You Do That To Me?

Tell Me........

How Could you Just Walk Out The Door?

How Could You Not Love Me Anymore?

I Thought We Had Forever.

I Cant Understand.

*How Could The One I Gave My Heart To, Break My Heart So Bad?

How Could The One Who Made Me Happy, Make Me Feel So Sad?

Wont Somebody Tell Me? So I Can Understand.

If You Love Me, How Could You Hurt Me Like That?*

How Could The One I Gave My World To, Throw My World Away?

How Could The One Who Said I Love You, Say The Things You Say?

How Could The One I Was So True Too Just Tell Me Lies?

*How Could The One I Gave My Heart To.....

How Could The One I Gave My Heart To....

How Could The One I Gave My Heart To Break This Heart of Mine?

Tell Me........ 

Bila P*%#p^ Berbicara Tentang Tuntutan Di Akhirat......

Korang ..... korang

Larik la laju ckit.....nak gossip nieh

Meh  dekat cikit.......nak citer ni.....ada orang skodeng blog i!!! Uppppsss...follower jangan terasa...bukan korang yer... i lup my follower hokey.....muah muah muah....


Cik Skodeng ni (eh...cik ker cik puan??) siap tinggal komen lagik tu....!!! Saya sangat terharu!!! 




Sebagai hadiah kepada Cik Skodeng yang bersusah payah menjejaki blog saya yang x seberapa ni...saya dedikasikan entry ini khas untuk anda....

eh yang kat belakang tu bukan nombor banduan kan???

Bukan x nak approve komen....tp sapa sangat la nak baca kat komen tu...i tepek jer kat sini....biar rasa ketidakpuasan hati u tu tersebar ke seantero dunia ( eh eh...ada ke org benua lain nak baca blog aku nieh....perasan ahaks )


Ni la komen dari Cik Skodeng kita ya .....

APA!!! x nampak.....????

x per x per ...... korang baca kat bawah ni.....yang kaler HITAM (melambangkan kejahatan, black demon, gothic etc....apa kau merepek ni setan!!!! ahaks) ayat original yang ku tepek ke blog ni (aduih...tercemar sudah blog ku ini!!!!)


Yang kaler MERAH menyala tu...jawapan aku la...apsal merah??? sbb wa panas babe!!!


Malas nak panjang lebar...Baca a sendiri...


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terima kasih S       M      sebab memalukan i dengan blog you nie.

(sama-sama....la...tau malu ker????) 

i will make sure you akan dpt balasan yg setimpal mengaibkan org mcm i. 

(mengaibkan ker??? rasanya x pun...sumer citer benar...nak letak sumer supporting document kat sini ke??? janji niat aku baik la DOL! aku x nak orang lain tertipu ngan kau) 

Semoga hidup anda tenang dengan perlakuan mcm nie.

(mana bley tenang selagi x dapat duit 4K yang kompeni ko keje tu tipu aku...aku dok tunggu la surat lawyer yang kenkononnya nak bagitau berapa pampasan yang aku dapat balik...tp sampai hari ni...TAKDE!!! lawyer pun malas layan gamaknya...kompeni dah file utk bungkus la katakan)

ingat, i tak tuntut dekat dunia nie tp kat akhirat, u tak terlepas.

(PERGGGGHHHHH...AYAT MENGINSAFKAN GILER!!!!...CITER PASAL AKHIRAT!!!...JGN MEMAIN AHAKS... memang la kau x ley tuntut kat dunia sbb aku x tipu duit kau!!! lain la mcm kes kau menipu aku...memang la kena tuntut kat dunia!!! .ko ingat ko sorang bley tuntut kat akhirat??? mcm mana ngan org2 lain yg kau tipu ...kalau dlm english...yang ko TIPUS...plural babe...plural...) 

wsalam.

(melekomsalam) 

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Nota kaki kiri:
Agak-agak korang kenal ker Cik Skodeng ni saper ahaks ahaks ahaks

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Mother's Day 2011

Seawal 8.30 pagi aku bangun....tu pun sbb Ayahanda Haji kejut gi breakfast. Sesambil mandi tu terpikir gak...napa nak g breakfast sedangkan Bonda Hajah nak gi attend Mother’s Day Breakfast Function kat Subang???? Kompius. Ermm kot kot Ayahanda Haji nak blanja isteri terchenta sempena mother’s day kot. Aku ikut kan jer...makan kan sape tak nak ahaks.

Lepas drop off Ayahanda Haji ngan Bonda Hajah kat Masjid ... bukan diorang nak sembahyang Dhuha...he he he ...Ayahanda Haji ada keje nak wat...Bonda Hajah lak tunggu kengkawan dia yang nak gi Subang (bagus makcik2 ni...car pool...environmentally friendly ahaks), aku trus shoot off gi Giant...nak bli barang. Semangat nieh nak masak untuk mother’s day.Menjadi ker tak...belakang kira...janji semangat kental mesti ada (Nampak sgt aku x reti masak kan!!!)

Ya saya admit...saya memang tak reti masak...yang cincai2 ala kadar tu boley la. Cuba bagi aku ikan (kena sebut ikan sbb species yang aku kenal cuma ikan tongkol sbb peberet...yang lain...ampeh!!), daging ker hapa...then sebut menu nak masak...memang dan dan tu gak aku google cara nak masak..serious babe...tak tipu....

Senang citer macam ni la...kalau bab bahasa...aku pernah cakap ngan bos aku ..Encik Singh..I can converse well in English but i can’t write...bukan la aku tahap bebal sampai x pandai...cuma grammer n vocab mmg hancus gak aa bila aku menulis ha haha...same goes ngan memasak...I can bake but i can’t cook...cam tu la lebey kurang. Of course can bake la... jangan kasik malu Bonda Hajah. Bonda Hajah dah train dari zaman sekolah ha ha ha....setahun sekali mesti bake beribu-ribu tart nenas and kek gulung!!!

Okeh...berbalik pada citer nak g shopping at Giant. Sblom tu..menu untuk ari ni ialah Nasi Arab Berempah...sila dapatkan resepi disini. Tak hengat2 aku ni kan...nak wat nasik berempah...ko kenal ke rempah2 tu nokkkk???? 


Apedehal...kat Giant sumer ada...plus...check jer kat plastic bungkus tu...kompem ada nama ha ha ha. Yang takde kat rumah cuma jintan manis jer (Bonda Hajah bgtau) ...sesambil tu aku pun tgk dan cuba mengingati rupa bentuk rempah2 lain yang perlu utk resepi ni ..antaranya

Kantoi giler aku ni...rempah2 ni mmg fail derrr!!! Ha ha ha

Sampai umah...chillex jap...amik mood...

Pastu ...tung tang tung tang kat dapur...masaknya bukannya banyak pun, satu menu jer...tapi sampai 2 periuk  n satu kuali aku pakai..yo o jer kan ha ha ha...nampak amatur sungguh.

Dalam kol 12, aku dah tanak nasik dalam periuk nasik. Then call my sis, Cik Puan Kekanda, invite her for lunch.

Baru masuk periuk nasik

Tada!!!!! dah masakkkkkkkkkk......

Cik Puan Kekanda and her entourage sampai around 2 pm....disamping tomato ketchup yang aku pesan, Cik Puan Kekanda bawak ice cream...yummmeh!!!

Pelik gak, Bonda Hajah tak balik2 lagik. Cik Puan Kekanda decided to wait for Ayahanda Haji for lunch. Pk pk...kompem Bonda Hajah kenyang sbb makan kat hotel...so once Ayahanda Haji sampai dari masjid...hidang la kat atas meja. 

Macam banyak nak hiding walhal nasik tu ngan acar timun jer... Bakso tu, neng part time tu yang bawak sbb Bonda Hajah suka...

Aku x join la masa diorang makan tu...biasalah...kalau korang makan kat hotel ker kat restoren ker...Chef memang mengintai dari tirai kamar jer kan ha ha ha.

Lepas makan, Cik Puan Kekanda serve ice cream Oreo...sodap sodap...kira cam dia blanja chef la tu lepas chef masakkan untuk dia (perasan jer aku ahaks...)

eskrem oreo campur mix fruit

Bonda Hajah balik tak lama lepas tu...rupanya Bonda Hajah attend brunch function la....adei la makcik2 ni...salah info rupanya...sian Bonda Hajah tunggu lama kat mesejid pagi tadi. Sesambil borak ngan Bonda Hajah, Cik Puan Kekanda membuka cerita di meja makan

Cik Puan Kekanda: Tadi...kat meja makan, Ayahanda Haji tanya.... Cik Adinda ni nak kawin ker...rajin masak segala

Aku dah memang terlopong tidak terkata...........................

Bonda Hajah: Ya kan aje la...moga2 jadi doa untuk sampai jodoh...

Aku ...sengih pun tidak hape pun tidak..kelu lidah nak berkata2 (ecewah, sejak bila pulak ntah)

Yang pastinya.....jiwa ku berteriak......

HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.......NIATKU MEMASAK UNTUK HARI IBU DI SALAH ARTI OLEH AYAHANDA KU.......

Me n Diet Regime....OUTTTT!!

7 Secrets of Slim People vs My regime

Ever notice how some women seem to stay slim without ever stressing about missed workouts or counting a single calorie? It seems unfair—and frustrating!—but those ladies might have some secrets the rest of us can steal. Turns out, you don’t have to completely overhaul your diet or exercise regimen to see fast and impressive results on the scale. (Though if you want a great, easy-to-follow plan, register for the Drop 10 Challenge on Self.com to lose 10 pounds in just five weeks.) In fact, recent research shows that sometimes it’s little, practically effortless changes to everyday habits that make the pounds fall off fast and forever. Try incorporating some of these simple, science-backed steps into your day-to-day life—it’s your turn to become one of those “naturally” slim lucky few!

Make time for tea

Women with the highest intake of catechins, antioxidants in tea that may accelerate fat burn, gained less weight over 14 years than those who sipped less, a study in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition reveals. White and green brews have the most catechins. Get brewing!

My regime : I drink tea...but too much sugar ha ha ha

Move your workouts to the morning

Breaking a sweat before you sit down to breakfast can help you trim down faster, a study in The Journal of Physiology finds. Exercising on an empty stomach in the A.M. improves glucose tolerance, which spurs your body to shed fat.

My regime : Duh!! I did .... brief walking from entrance of lrt station...then to office...too much saturated fats...the walking duration and distance is insignificant ahaks

Join the breakfast club

If you don’t already have regular morning meals, it’s time to start: Lifelong early eaters have a waistline about 2 inches smaller than that of breakfast skippers, The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition reveals. An A.M. meal may rev metabolism; plus, it may cause you to make less of an enzyme that raises cholesterol.

My regime : Never miss my breakfast, but maybe the portion is too big ha ha ha...plus sharing is caring, habis jahanam diet!!

Savor your food

Eating slowly and steadily can help you stay slim. People who took 30 minutes to eat a bowl of ice cream created more fullness hormones than did those who ate faster, a study in The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism notes. Whenever you can, ditch distractions like the television while you’re dining so you can concentrate on enjoying the yummy food in front of you.

My regime : Savoring my food in big portion  he he h e

Become a creature of habit

Eating at the same times every day and could help you drop pounds. When mice ate at scheduled mealtimes and fasted for 12 hours at night, their liver turned ongenes that burned more sugar and fat, say scientists at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in La Jolla , California . No, we’re not mice, but if something as simple as sitting down to dinner at 7 P.M. every night helps speed weight loss, why not give it a shot?

ermmm...something to ponder about

Start with water

Downing two cups of H2O before meals helped people lose about 5 pounds more than those who said no to water, research from Virginia Tech reveals. Water is filling, so sippers ate 75 to 90 calories less. Enjoy a few cups of water while you prep a meal or before your entrée arrives at a restaurant to effortlessly keep calories in check.

My regime: daily intake  min 2.5 litre of plain water. Yeap this is helping!!

Step on the scale

Dieters who weighed themselves at least weekly lost more weight than those who didn’t, according to research from the Minneapolis Heart Institute Foundation. Plus, the habit helped nondieters stay at a stable weight. Spotting scale swings early allows you to tweak your eating and exercise routine before pounds can pile up.

x caya x caya x caya...tipu tipu tipu ahaks!!

**Source from Yahoo

So Sweet....

Saya sangat happy....hari ni ada 3 orang yang nyanyi lagu Baik Baik Sayang untuk saya.......

Sumpah saya sangat happy.... and sangat terharu....terima kasih sangat2...

Encik Bear...sila main gitar pulak yer lepas ni...penat dah saya carik kord ni...

BAIK-BAIK SAYANG (kord gitar)

E       G#m     C#m         G#m
Aku tak ingin kau menangis bersedih

  A       E    B
Sudahi air mata darimu

E         G#m     C#m   G#m
Yang aku ingin arti hadir diriku

 A            E         B
kan menghapus dukamu sayang

       A    B   E         C#m
Karena bagiku kau kehormatanku

       F#m          B
Dengarkan dengakan aku

Reff:

C#m           G#m      A      E
Hanya satu pintaku untukmu dan hidupmu

   A      E      F#m         B
Baik baik sayang ada aku untukmu

C#m           G#m      A          E
Hanya satu pintaku di siang dan malammu

  A       E            F#m      B
Baik baik sayang karna aku untukmu

 E        G#m    C#m      G#m
Semua keinginan akan aku lakukan

 A         E        B
Sekuat semampuku sayang

       A    B   E        C#m
Karena bagiku kau kehormatanku

       F#m          B
Dengarkan dengakan aku

Reff:

C#m           G#m      A      E
Hanya satu pintaku untukmu dan hidupmu

   A      E      F#m         B
Baik baik sayang ada aku untukmu

C#m           G#m      A          E
Hanya satu pintaku di siang dan malammu

  A       E            F#m      B

Baik baik sayang karna aku untukmu
Baik baik sayang karna aku untukmu